When my son turned 3, his tantrums became more frequent and intense. The smallest denials would trigger him, and he'd lash out, screaming and hitting. During these fits, I would block his hands and firmly say, "NO hitting. Hitting hurts!," but he would keep hitting, and the tantrum would go on for what felt like an exhausting eternity. I tried putting him in time-out, but keeping him there was almost impossible, and it only escalated things. Sometimes, I would even lose my patience, yell, and then feel terrible about myself. I was afraid that not disciplining him would reinforce the behavior, but it clearly wasn't working.
I Stopped Punishing My Toddler's "Bad" Behavior, and the Transformation Shocked Me