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I Stopped Punishing My Toddler's "Bad" Behavior, and the Transformation Shocked Me


When my son turned 3, his tantrums became more frequent and intense. The smallest denials would trigger him, and he'd lash out, screaming and hitting. During these fits, I would block his hands and firmly say, "NO hitting. Hitting hurts!," but he would keep hitting, and the tantrum would go on for what felt like an exhausting eternity. I tried putting him in time-out, but keeping him there was almost impossible, and it only escalated things. Sometimes, I would even lose my patience, yell, and then feel terrible about myself. I was afraid that not disciplining him would reinforce the behavior, but it clearly wasn't working.

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